Tonight, We Are Waiting

Tuesday, July 19

Tonight, we are waiting.  Waiting for many things.  I am waiting for our next phone bill (with … um … excitement???).  This is our pay week, so both Kim and I are waiting for (and looking forward to) another deposit into our accounts (with more excitement than our phone bill, that’s for sure).  We are waiting for the summer heat of Phoenix to produce the first good Monsoon storm of the season at home in Mesa.  Don’t get me wrong, we have had some storms (did you hear about the Haboob recently in PHX???), but we have not had a good gully washer at our house yet, just dust.  We are waiting for our savings to grow, the government to fix the budget, another day.  Tonight, we are waiting for many things.

We have many friends who have recently had children or are expecting children soon.  Some have started to share stories about first experiences.  Kim read about one mom’s experience has her son received his first shots.  It was touching (and the picture proved it) as he cried with questions in his eyes to his mom for why she could possibly let some stranger put a sharp object into his arm.  Kim’s thought, though filled with joy and excitement, and a little bit of sorrow for her friend and her son, was:  “Whoppty stinging doo!!!”  (Just bear with us…you will see why shortly).

Tonight, we are also waiting for our own little miracle to join us.  The doctors, who are always straight up honest, have been telling us for nearly 3 weeks that our daughter could join us at any time.  (For those of you who have not heard, we are having a little girl.  It seems the doctors are not that good at keeping secrets.  If you don’t know that story, ask some time.)  At first, the hope was for us to last 36 weeks.  We passed that about 3 weeks ago.  The second was to reach the ripe size of 2000 grams (just shy of 4 and a half pounds).  It seems that is the minimum size needed for our first surgery.  We passed that about 3 weeks ago too.  Our last growth check showed about 5 pounds 1 ounce.  Tomorrow, we have our next growth check and Kim and I have bets on how big our little lady will be.  But for now, we are approaching 39 weeks, so tonight we wait.

We have spent the last 4 months (we can not believe we have been traveling this road for nearly 4 months now) studying and learning and memorizing the procedures and organs that will be operated on in the coming weeks.  We have been worried and scared and want to make sure we understand everything that is coming our way.  You see, for the mom mentioned above, the scariest part of her first days as a mom so far have been the first shots.  Don’t get me wrong, the birth of a first child is exciting and exhilarating along with some scary moments as you start to think about a life you will bring into the world, a life who will be utterly and completed dependant on you for everything.  For us, we are starring down the barrel of a very scary set of open heart surgeries, the first of which is the Norwood procedure (my best friend Google can tell you all about it if you want to know more).  So, you can understand Kim’s first thoughts for the simplicity of a few shots when our first shots will be in preparation for surgery.

Tonight we wait.  Kim feels kicking all the time and we get to watch as our peanut squirms, kicks, punches and rolls in Kim’s belly.  As she does, I try to play with her by pushing and patting Kim’s belly (though Kim does not always like that much).  Tonight we wait to see what our little lady looks like.  We wait to see what she likes and dislikes.  We wait for the opportunity to get to know her, to teach her and grow her in the ways of Christ.  We wait to learn about her dreams and desires.  Tonight we wait.  We wait for the news of the birth of another child into our world and for the plan to address her broken little heart.  Tonight, we wait in the grace, peace and comfort of our God, who has His hands holding our daughter, comforting her and protecting her.  Tonight we wait, with excitement and anticipation for the first addition to our family.  Tonight, we wait, in the grace and presence of God, the love of friends and the company of the strangers who have gone before us and paved the road we are walking down.

Tonight…we wait.